


infected, alone

by kelpforbrains



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Infection, Near Death, No Romance, Slow Death, Walker Bite, bite immunity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17495966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelpforbrains/pseuds/kelpforbrains
Summary: this was not what i expected dying to feel like and yet, here we are.





	infected, alone

**Author's Note:**

> hey so i dont really know what this is but i hope u enjoy it thx

when you feel adrenaline run through your veins, you dont think of it. it feels warm and it forces you to use your strength to survive, but you never notice until you realize you never could have done what you did under normal circumstances. 

this is not what it feels like to be infected.

at first, the adrenaline and the infection mingle, and you kill whatever bastard has your arm or leg or wherever, and if youre still alive in twenty seconds, you realize what's happened, and that warm feeling of adrenaline is replaced by the white hot feeling if complete terror. this mixes with the infection to make anti-freeze inside your body.

about an hour in, you realize that the only feeling left in your body is the feeling of acid flowing through you veins. you feel it in every part of your person. it hurts. it feels hot and cold at the same time and it feels like molasses replaces your blood until you're stuck immobile and sweating with the fever that burns almost as hot as the acid in your capillaries. there is nothing to do but wait. if you have good friends, they'll put you down. if not, they'll leave you for dead. if you're alone… i'm surprised you made it long enough to read this. if you're alone, you're like me, and its up to you either put yourself down or become one of them.

i am weak. i chose to become a monster. and long ago i would have believed that god would have forgiven me for taking my own life but since seeing the first corpse rise from its slumber i realized that god did not exist. since being bitten, i know god can't. not my god.

its the last hour that really does you in. two hours from death you can feel it coming. an hour from death, you are already dead. you are nothing but flesh and bone and a decaying brain even if you havent started eating your own just yet. your skin burns in anything but moonlight, your eyes feel like barbells and god forbid you try to move. your bones are paper-mache, hollow like a bird's, and they can barely carry the weight of your muscles.

i had a half hour of life and an hour of daylight left and all i wanted was peace. my truck was glowing in the golden light, begging me to pick myself up from the side of the road and take her on a drive but i couldnt. i felt like a box of rocks and a speck of dust at the same time and it hurt to breathe. my neck was too weak to hold my head as i leaned on the metal barrier on the road.

i had five minutes to live and i could feel my heart slowing. i missed my mom. she didnt have to go through this. i had mercy on her the day she was bit and she thanked me for it until her last breath. i couldnt save myself even if i wanted to at that point. i was too weak. i couldnt feel my hands let alone pick up my gun. my mind was too tired to rush through all the thoughts i wanted it to. all i knew was death was coming and i was ready. it had been six hours and i was ready. the burning in my blood was beginning to feel like it was all i'd ever felt. i had never felt anything but thick acid running through this body. taking a few deep breaths, calm and prepared, i closed my eyes against the burning sun and let the fading warmth envelope me.

and then i opened them to the night. i felt cool blood in my veins, pumping fast like it was meant to, and i was more terrified than i was when i was bit. my truck was in the same spot it had been in and the moon was glowing in the sun's place. i was cold with dried sweat and desperate to understand why i was lucid and breathing in cold air like i had been underwater for a month. 

i moved just barely and felt the strength i had before the bite being slowly restored in my body. i was still weak but i could move. my bones were brittle but they were bones again. i wondered why god let me suffer through what i just had, but i then wondered if this was just a fever dream. i was just hallucinating. i had to be.

i heard a dog barking far away, a cricket a yard away, the rustling of my own clothes and i knew i was awake. so i tucked my knee under myself and pushed up to a standing position, wobbling and leaning against the metal. 

tears burned behind my eyes and i began to scream. asking, why me? asking, what for? begging for an answer or a reason or a fucking drink. i didnt care if they heard me again. i crumbled back to the ground as my body shook with emotion. i was alive and i didnt understand why or how. i scanned my ankle for the bite that had been there and while the wound was there, it was scabbing over normally and looked generally healthy. it was tender to the touch but it wasn't warm or red around the edges.

i stood again and climbed inside my truck. my photos were taped to the dash and my gun was on the passenger seat. the keys were already in the ignition and i turned them without effort. my strength had returned and i took a protein bar from the glove box to keep it that way.

i didnt know what happened. i didnt need to. i was alive and ready to try this again. i would never understand what had happened but i knew it was either a blessing or a punishment from whoever ran this cruel game. i was back from the dead, i had knowledge no other living man had, and i was ready to do what i had to do to survive. 

death was no longer an obstacle. not for me.

**Author's Note:**

> hey this was weird but fun to write and may become a storyline in my dumb little brain so if you wanna see that comment and tell me!!
> 
> instagram: peachpecans  
> tumblr: queer_apricot  
> twitter: empty_acxi
> 
> :)


End file.
